Voicemail

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Instead of Davesprite's voice, there's a pleasant tenor voice.]

You have reached the SFC of Davesprite. Please listen carefully to the following menu.

If this is an emergency and you require assistance, press 1.

If you are a Lalonde, press 3.

If you are a Harley, press 5.

If you are a Crocker, press 7.

If you are a Strider, Davesprite is unavailable to take your call, so please hang up and try again later.

If you are John Egbert, hang up right now and don't call back.

If you would like to repeat this menu, press the # key. Have a nice day!

Comments

[action] & [text]

[fundemetal]

On the morning of the 4th, Leo gets up early to go prank all of his friends. He heads to Davesprite's nest and using a telescoping arm, he lifts a giant egg he got from the market and sets it gently in the nest. He quietly walks away after retracting the device and shoving that into his tool belt.

When he's a good distance away, he sends Davesprite an anonymous text.

A little birdie told me congrats are in order. Is it a boy or a girl?

[action] & [text]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Luckily or unluckily for Leo, Davesprite did spend the night in his nest. He's been peopled out with all this constant cuddling the curse is making him do. Sadly, this also means that his sleeping is very light since he's freezing his feathers off, and the little jingle on the SFC that alerts him to receiving a text message makes him want to chuck the thing right at the nearest hard surface.

He stares at the message for a long moment before looking around the place to figure out what the hell it was talking about. That's when the sprite spots the egg. Davesprite stares at that for a long moment, too. It's way too early in the morning to deal with this shit.

its a girl
i named her breakfast omelette mccuckoo iv
went and got a hot pink frying pan just for my little girl to sleep in

[action] & [text]

[fundemetal]

Leo chuckled when the reply came. Still using the anon option he replied to the text, but it's probably obvious it's him.

You telling me you actually cannibalized your offspring?
Gross, dude.